Lightspeed Champion

What can popular culture teach us? I'm a sucker.
Most people know this already, but whatever. I consume pop culture. Commercialism really does work on me, I'm not too ashamed to say this. What I mean by this , is if I'm watching t.v and there's a commercial for Dr Pepper. I will want a Dr Pepper.
It's a mixture of this. Morbid curiosity that is truly never satisfied until delved into. As well as a general willingness and forced naivety about life. I want everyone to be right! If someone tells me a burger will change my life. I really really want to eat it, and have it change my life. I have a little bit of hope in everyone. Even if that everyone happens to, unfortunately be large horrific companies that have independent documentary makers pulling their teeth out.. I'm digressing...

I'm obviously not just talking about food.
Unfortunately i'm talking about something a lot lot lot worse. I think.

I've just got indoors from a friends house, and in my hand. I am holding a copy of *drum roll* Elizabeth Gilberts god damn fucking book "Eat Pray Love". I'm a fucking ridiculous loser.
But listen up.
A lot of people (women) have claimed to find the answer within this book. I've never had an interest in reading it until recently where it'd been plaguing my mind. This is my journey.

Karley told me recently how she'd been sitting at home when the Gerard Butler / Katherine Heigal catastrophe "The Ugly Truth" had come on t.v. A friend of hers was talking to her about something when he realized she wasn't paying attention to him.
"Oh my god... are you.. are you listening to what he has to say?"

Yes, she was. And you know what, sitting at home eating a burger and watching 2012 a couple nights ago, the movie ended.. Cusack and Peet were doing whatever it is that happens at the end of that film, the credits rolled... "next up. .. The Ugly Truth".
I didn't change it. I kept it on.

I remember when I went to see "He's Just Not That Into You" in the cinema. Yes the entire Drew Barrymoore storyline is offensively embarrassing (myspace? Really??) but man, i'll be damned if that whole Bradley Cooper, Scarlett Johansson / Jennifer Connelly storyline isn't one of the most accurate portrayals of an affair I have ever seen in a movie. Keith seems to think that no one told Jennifer Connelly that she was in a Rom Com. She took it deep.

But... I won't lie. I listened to every single thing Justin Long said.

The Quest For Sex And The City Season One And All That It Can Teach Us

I spent saturday hungover walking around Manhattan by myself looking for season one of Sex And The City.
HAVE YOU SEEN IT? Don't judge. It's incredible.

1. The storylines aren't as horrifically mundane as they became known to be, at this point it was just basically 4 girls in New York City. Facing issues that most of us can genuinely relate too, not issues that older women wish they could relate to.

2. Carrie Bradshaw would break the fourth wall, and talk to the camera, sometimes during the middle of actual scenes. Something that contrary to what some people would believe, actually does draw you into the story more, you feel like you're in this with her.

3. Remember "Real Sex"? The 90's show that just went around and spoke to 'regular' people on the streets of New York about their sex life? Well, in Season One of SATC they have moments in between scenes where this happens, actors of course, but amazing nonetheless. (incidentally something that they actually try and imitate, albeit in a shockingly bad way in 'He's Just Not That Into You')

4. Those moments when the 'girls' would be talking around a table of a coffee store / wine bar / dinner table. Well, at some points the camera will become Carrie <Meaning>>> We become Carrie, and the characters then talk directly at us.

------------------------------------

Anyway, I saw the trailer to Eat Love Pray, the movie adaptation featuring Julia Roberts, it looks like a pile of steaming crap. There is no way I am going to watch it, not even on a plane.. this fact, knowing that there is now only one way i'd be able to consume it's knowledge.
So yes, the one thing that it did succeed in doing, is make me want to read the book. A lot of trust worthy sources have told me that, as much as Oprah's taste in books is like a dog's taste in food and drink (their own nuts and at other times... their own urine). The book is actually pretty good. I've also been told that Elizabeth Gilbert's TED talk is quite amazing also.. urghhhhh.
What have I become.

Alas, i've been drunk the last 3 days (commodore, a bar near my apartment, is killing me.. but the frozen margaritas just can't be passed up upon!) and the Bill Clegg book i'm reading right now has too much drama for me right now, and not enough "let me help you" type shit which is exactly what I want right now.. yes I'm aware that it's 'his' tale about his 'collapse' into 'crack addiction'.. but can't he at least slip me a "dating in your early 20's" metaphor or two thousand!?!?


Today was one of those buy popcorn, aloe vera drink and Woodchuck cider days. Mum, don't worry... I know you're probably reading this, it's fine. The popcorn was low in sugar... i'm joking. But no i'm fine.

But I did wake up with an overwhelming sense that I will never capture the magic of the beginning stages of my last relationship ever again.. you know, one of those days?


I eventually did get past it, Mairead is in town from London, and Solange is back, so a burger was had (yes, food really is a great healer.. oh yeah, and friends...)


I called Karley.

"Are you aware of how compulsive I am??" I say to her.. pacing my friends apartment eyeing the copy of "Eat Pray Love" sitting on her bookshelf.

"Yes, I am.. first chain smoking weed for a couple months, and now I guess alcohol?" she says.

"No, not even.. when Nicole and I broke up I started binge eating like no man's business. I would wake up, order a pizza with some sides for breakfast, eat a large packet of Tostito hint of lime tortilla chips, eat a bag of skittles, drink a bottled Dr Pepper, order a burger and fries, drink a coke, eat another packet of skittles, eat a cliff bar or two, maybe another bag of chips, definitely another bag or so of skittles, then fall asleep. I did this for some time. Getting to the point where I swear to god, I couldn't produce moisture, seriously. I couldn't sweat."

" Did you put on weight?"

"Well, yeah. Following that though, I stopped, and decided to take on magic, which is how the card tricks came to be, studying every day just putting all of my time into creating and learning magic tricks, just to take my mind off things.. then came the weed, and now.."

"Sex?"

"COME ON! No, the margaritas, jesus."


The conversation then descends into the usual chaos and then ends. I decide it's time to go home, but not before I ask the owner of the apartment i'm in if I can borrow their Eat Pray Love book. They are more than happy to oblige, assuring me that, they too were completely skeptical but alas, by the end of the book. They were crying their eyes out.


So, as you can tell i'm having trouble adjusting to being single. I'm about to watch "The Break Up"...
After that?

Eat Pray Love? I mean.. really? Shit.

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Julio Benavides Comment by Julio Benavides on August 9, 2010 at 9:50pm
I'm also adjusting to being single, going to sleep and waking up alone are the worst parts, i have to keep the tv on or listen to a podcast while im falling asleep in a futile attempt not to feel alone at night... pathetic huh? But I've recently came across your blog and reading that your kinda going through the same thing I'am helps me relate and some weird way helps me cope, misery loves company and knowing some one out there is going through the same thing makes me feel not so alone, keep up the blogging, it helps out alot of us...
Josh H Comment by Josh H on August 8, 2010 at 7:05pm
Stay in there man, we all indulge excessively until we find something or more importantly someone who fulfills what we once had. I'm more or less where you're at, my suggestion stay busy with hobbies that don't rot the body terribly much. First a drunkard, finding various random girlies, now I'm watching every damned craptastic movie that ever existed and the weed helps (make them more enjoyable). But I'm making myself get out there and start dating finally, hold on Dev
Anna C. Comment by Anna C. on July 27, 2010 at 10:12pm
I wouldn't say Eat Pray Love is a rom com. Nevertheless, fuck Eat Pray Love and fuck rom coms.
Fergus Comment by Fergus on July 27, 2010 at 10:03am
well it's nice to know that i'm not the only junk-food bingeing, constant drinking, sad-film watching, heart broken lamo out there. but i'm sure we'll get over it.
Haley Comment by Haley on July 27, 2010 at 6:20am
Oh Dev, you are way cooler then anyone I know. Fuuuuck. Most boys don't admit to liking rom coms or anything that doesn't involve gratuitous sex scenes with girls with huge tits or tons of mindless violence. Keep pimpin' away xo

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