Lightspeed Champion

"Fuck!!!" I screamed.
I started trashing the room. Lamp, smashed. T.V? Equally smashed.
Inconsolable, nothing was helping. Maybe I should punch the wall a few more times.
I had been informed that my ex had started seeing one of the worst people I could ever imagine to have existed. But alas, in this current dream I'm in, this human male has no face nor name inside my mind. I just know that he is complete scum.
G, is standing around watching me. Slender, long golden brown hair, a slight underbite. Staring at me with her hazel eyes.. for the umpteenth time this (imaginary?) week asking what I'm up to later on.
I snap...again "Nothing! Jesus.. I dunno.. something!"
She takes off out the door.
Keith wonders why I'm so hard on her all the time.
He poses :
Maybe I should just date her.
Maybe I should just go for it. Whatever.

Whatever.
I chase out of the room, and run down the street in the direction I imagine that she would have walked down.

Eventually I find her. Explain I'm sorry. In a surprisingly short amount of time, we become great friends, and a great couple. Although there is some slight tension when she receives a text message from Leonardo Di Caprio.. "Why is he texting you!?" I scream.

I should add at that G is indeed, Gisele Bundchen.

I wake up.
Goddamn. I'm in Silver Springs, Maryland. In the break from working on the Solange record I'm playing solo sets with We Are Scientists along the east coast, i'm also playing a set before mine with my friend Aaron in Rewards.

My solo set is pretty loose and involving backing tracks and old favourites (definitely NOT written by me).
Responses have ranged from "You suck, and your set sucks" (Boston) and in near fights (read this article).

My morning so far (apart from dreams hinting that I'm clearly not over my ex and fantasies about dating Gisele) has consisted of eating Chipotle, which as Keith agrees, adding hot sauce makes a quite enjoyable experience.
Then heading to borders to buy the Bill Clegg memoir. "Portrait Of An Addict As A Young Man". I love a great take of someone diving head first into depravity. I also officially became a member. 10% off future purchases.

I then shamelessly walked into American Apparel with the full intention of flirting with the staff, Its a guarantee that at least two of the clerks will be attractive. This isn't offensive. It's just the truth. Maybe the reasons why this is true are extremely offensive. But I don't hire them.. so i'm not to blame. What can we do as a consumer? It's McDonalds all over again e.t.c. e.t.c.
I didn't want to buy anything, I don't have any money on me. I just spent on a book in borders that I'll probably read next year.
There is one attractive clerk. I smile at her. She smiles back. I leave.

It's 97 degrees outside today. I roll my already short shorts even higher. Eliciting looks of disgust from the local kids, teens, adults, young adults and old people (Everyone).

It's that time in the day where I consider just getting in touch with my ex, then realise that she's most likely compete forgotten about me and is way happier now that I'm out of her life.
I wonder what dream girlfriend Gisele Bundchen is up to right now?


Edit : Revoked. The chipotle has made me brutally sick, either that or the excess of painkillers for my tooth, or the estranged margarita mix that turned up last night, or the falafel from the venue... either/or.

I've been up since 6am in my bathroom and it is now 9:10am.. no sign of leaving here soon.. Irony, I will probably have to go American Apparel to buy a new shirt..



Tags: borders, bundchen, chipotle, gisele

Add a Comment

You need to be a member of Lightspeed Champion to add comments!

Join Lightspeed Champion

Colleen Comment by Colleen 2 hours ago
Question: what was the song you played in DC that went something to the effect of "fuck, she's just seen me from across the room," or something? I think about it a lot. I would love to listen to it, but I do not know it is called.
Devonté Hynes Comment by Devonté Hynes 1 day ago
Aw, thanks Janeinma!
Janeinma Comment by Janeinma on July 22, 2010 at 2:47pm
Hey come on Dev, amongst the heckles in Boston you also had people totally and utterly supporting you including one very young and vocal fan who yelled is devotion right in my ear every time you finished a song (I deferred to enthusiastic applause myself), remember some of us loved you!
Bayo ogunmowo Comment by Bayo ogunmowo on July 19, 2010 at 7:31am
Don't fuck with Dev.
You're right about the attractive females in American apparel. There always happens to be two.

Orchestra Experiment


I've been slowly releasing scores of a symphony I wrote last year, so if you're bored and feel like playing some badly scored classical music... Click Here

Book

I have book out featuring a collection of short stories I wrote that had been published within the last year, I've placed them in several stores, mostly near my apartment in Brooklyn.. most people hate them. But if you want them? Message me. Click Here.

Dev's Movie Blog

One night, my room mate mentioned how it'd be pretty funny for someone to watch all the movies listed at the bottom of IMDB. I've started to, and it's not funny.
WorstMovies.Blogspot.Com

Made by   Powered by .

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service