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Devonté Hynes

Bald Statements : What Would Happen If I Shaved My Head? (Part One)

Hi everybody! I'm currently in L.A right now, working hard on Solange's new album with a bunch of awesome people. Drums are being tracked right now by my good friend and room mate Chris Egan.
This gives me time right now to ponder on life. My ongoing quest for a life reset has lead me to a juncture. I'm considering shaving my head.
As pointed out by quite a few people I've posed this question to today, I do wear a hat all the time. But alas.. a bal' head is quite something to behold.
Here is the first installment of how I imagine things moving forward if I was to shave my head within the next hour or so. Shit is about to get seriously LOST circa Season 5 / 6. Believe.

21:00 May 27th : I ask Solange for the number for the BEST hairdresser in town. She responds that it's currently 9 o'clock at night, and I could probably shave my head myself. Everyone agrees. I tell them all to "Stop stamping on my dreams with their false declarations." I take the keys to the car, walk outside and jump in... but I can't drive. I crawl back and mutter something about "mmhmm anyone..wanna drive me to the store..."....e.t.c....

21:37 May 27th : I'm sitting on the edge of the bathroom in my boxer shorts holding the newly bought electric shaver in my right hand. My laptop is on top of the laundry basket with a picture on my screen of "Tyrese Gibson". I'm trying to pussy out. But there's no time for that now.. I stand up. Still staring at Tyrese's smiling bald head.
It's time.

21:44 May 27th : On the bathroom floor crying

22:13 May 27th : Still crying.

22:20 May 27th : I receive a text from a friend about a shitty party, I obviously decide to go.

22:45 May 27th : Cruising with Friend A in their car down the Sunset. I catch my reflection in the side view mirror and realise I look slightly like a young Steve Harvey minus the afro wig. Whatever, not dismayed, I tell Friend A to pull the car over so I can talk to two girls standing outside of Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles.
I say to them quite simply "Look, neither of you are that attractive, you.. are just about passable as Vacation Pussy due to the unfortunate aspects of your friend over there, and you .. well, will just do because you're basically, kinda, a woman. So how about you just stop this bullshit and jump in the car with some real fucking men."

22:47 May 27th : Driving to the party with two girls we picked up off the street standing outside Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles.

23: 52 May 27th : We arrive outside of the club.... we step out of the car, and walk inside.


Tags: (part, :, bald, happen, head?, i, if, my, one), shaved

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Daij Robinson Comment by Daij Robinson on June 3, 2010 at 11:44pm
i wish i had your
Joe Comment by Joe on June 2, 2010 at 9:41am
Come on, keep on rocking! And we will fixate it on online resume news mode, if you don't mind...=)
Christopher D G Ricketts Comment by Christopher D G Ricketts on May 31, 2010 at 2:46pm
What would happen?

It's look pretty sweet, i guess... unless you have big ears...
Sherlock Homeslice III Jr. Comment by Sherlock Homeslice III Jr. on May 30, 2010 at 3:58pm
lol steve harvey. He ended up shaving his head.
sid ramirez Comment by sid ramirez on May 30, 2010 at 9:29am
dude your in L.A. and we get no shows :( , i hope your doing well bro. i think youd look fine with a shaved head, or you need to get a new hat.
Matt Stefanyszyn Comment by Matt Stefanyszyn on May 30, 2010 at 7:36am
well, i guess that's one way to get women...

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